Stuff I’ve heard at Sixth Form with absolutely no context whatsoever

2020 Edition; March

As the class of 2020 gets nearer exams, we start to actually knuckle down. ...But that doesn't mean that there wasn't nonsense spewing out of our mouths this month!

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• “Twila, you’ve got to ~cHaNnEl~ ~tHe~ ~vIbEs~!!!”

• “Basically ‘Put you’re hand up if you’re a prat’ is what that means”

[Said by an actual teacher] You’re tired, crying your eyes out, praying for death... I thought your phone had a poltergeist, I thought it was f***ing possessed!

A: CPR my skin cells, mate
B: Do you remember when you CPR’d a mayonnaise packet? 

• “Why not? I drink Brandy when I’m in school 🤷🏼‍♀️"

• “In other news, I think I’m dying.”

• “My elbows are quite ~moist~ at the moment”

I am nothing but bad hand gestures…

[Dead silence] 
*Nightmare fuel voice* 
WHERE. ARE. YOUR. SHOES?!?

• [Sees a picture of a frog] “It looks like my grandmas neck”

• “You see, the problem is I can’t speak Swedish”

It’s like I can sing, but I can’t ‘SING-sing’, y’know? ...But even then I can’t really sing.