2020 Edition; January
“Ohmigawd a fLuFfY fIsH"
“What’s wrong with your DNA, Charlotte?”
“...I don’t have a soul anymore.”
Oh no! I’ve been swiping the wrong way this entire time! *pause* I’M NOT ON TINDER I SWEAR! I’M ON QUIZLET!
“But... he doesn’t look like a vegan???”
“Don’t believe a word I say until I google it.”
“YOU. ARE. A. AUSTRALIAN. PIG!” (That's just poor grammar)
A: You have a really posh name.
B: Well I’m not gonna deny it! BUT it’s not like I came out the womb saying ‘I HAVE A REQUEST!’
“Words...From my brain...and onto the page.”
“Year 7 was peak! We had a funeral for a ruler” (She meant a piece of stationery, and not y'know, a monarch)
“Yeah… that’ll do. That’s as many f***s as I’m willing to give”
[One person starts singing 'Harry Potter Puppet Pals; The Mysterious Ticking Noise', entire class joins in] ...WELCOME TO A-LEVELS!
“I want to be a panda-nanny. *pause* IT’S A REAL JOB”
“I DIDN’T EAT MY TWIN IN THE WOMB... I ate the other twin’s food so it didn’t have any.”
“Jenny, are you like, a TikTok connoisseur?”
A: A nice child? They’re really rare!
B: THEY’RE NOT POKEMON ISSY!
When you’re so desperate for context for your coursework that you have to write about real cases of cannibalism... OH THE THINGS WE LEARN IN SIXTH FORM!
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