Small Ways to Dramatically Improve Your Life

Author's note: This article was first published in Whisperings of Anna ~ Issue No. 22, January/February 2023, pp. 35-40. The magazine has been discontinued, but you can still read the full issue in my portfolio.

As we move into the new year and the January blues hit, it’s understandable that most of us will slip on our New Year’s resolutions or even fall victim to a seasonal depression. Here’s our guide at Whisperings of Anna to beat the winter blues and make the upcoming months just a little more bearable.

• Unclog your phone, delete any unnecessary apps or social media that takes too much of your time and unfollow those who don’t bring meaning or impact to your life in a positive way. We have such a short time on this Earth, and we should live our lives to the fullest and make use of every moment!

• Clear out your broken stationary, expired makeup and donate clothes that no longer fit you (either physically or, if you can afford to, your aesthetic). Acknowledge that “to err is to be human” and going through phases is not a bad thing. Similar to how you may want to kiss a few frogs to find your prince, you may also want to experiment with your style and how you decorate your surroundings and accept that you may never find something that is 100% you. We are constantly evolving, multi-fascinated beings and the things that may reflect who we were a few years ago may not bring us joy or represent who we are today, nor should we try to confine ourselves to one singular fashion, subculture or interest.

• Treat yourself to a new haircut, some new accessories (velvet headbands, pearl jewellery, silk bows and fake fur shawls are a few of my faves and can all be found fairly cheaply on Etsy), or give yourself a manicure or pedicure. Any of which can brighten your day and be easily done without taking too much time.

• Tidy home, tidy mind: If things are becoming frantic in your head, try sorting out your living space. Opening your windows and giving everything a good once-over does wonders for your mental health. Donate, recycle or upcycle any unwanted items and invest in fresh flowers, books, magazines or films, and new artwork from small local businesses/artists to decorate your boudoir.

• Take a look at your schedule and see if you are spreading yourself too thin or if you have time for a new hobby, internship or course (can be online) in your respective field. Whether it’s simply something you find interesting or that one thing that will make your CV stand out from the crowd, it’s always worth asking ourselves, “What do I want out of life and how am I going to get there?”. Alternatively, if you think you’ve taken too much on board and are struggling to cope, talk to your supervisor, a person in authority whom you trust, or if your school or work has some sort of mental health and support system in place, discuss your concerns and what can be done to ease the load. If you can see what needs to be done, take the plunge and accept that there are only 24 hours in a day and you need time to rest and recuperate.

• Update your CV regularly: Within a similar vein as above, take an active role as the leading lady in your life and put your best foot forward when it comes to the world of work or further education. Whether it’s making your bullet points more concise, the font more legible and easier to understand, or checking for any spelling and grammar you may have missed the first time around, it’s worth investing time into making the best first impression to achieve your goals.

Take an active role as the leading lady in your life and put your best foot forward

• Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself: Cut out those whose behaviours are impacting your life negatively. I realise and completely understand how hard this is to do. However, processing your emotions through a diary, talking with those you trust or if needed a councillor or therapist is a good step in acknowledging they are (or were) not good for you, no matter how much you may love them (either platonically or romantically).

Ways of spotting toxic relationships include:

• Feelings of fear or an obligation to do whatever they want when around them (especially if money is involved): If they truly care about you they wouldn’t force you to do anything you didn’t want to, let alone act out or get angry if you didn’t. For example, threatening to leave the relationship or cut you off in some way, thereby increasing pressure on you to stay and try to keep on their good side. Remember, you can invoke and revoke your consent at any time, whether it’s agreeing to do something on their behalf or being intimate, if it doesn’t sit right with you or makes you question your own morals, trust your gut and politely decline, their reaction will tell you everything you need to know about them.

• Unwillingness to be seen with you in public: Not only does this limit the amount or variety of experiences you can have together, but why would you want to be with someone who is embarrassed or ashamed to spend time with you and effectively keeps you a secret?

• Breaks your trust: Now obviously, there are occasions where promises cannot be kept. However, if they repeatedly let you down only to throw occasional bones your way to make it up to you or do something ~assuming~ you’d be ok with it without confirming with you first, that is a complete breach of trust that you shouldn’t accept and are perfectly right to expect more from them.

• Complaints from other people: If your friends are warning you of red flags, that you are too blind-sighted by being too involved in the relationship to see, on this occasion trust your and their gut instincts. What’s worse, if the toxic person in question brings up complaints they had from previous friends or romantic partners, making them out to be crazy and themselves to be the victim, depending on the severity of the allegation and the number of accusations received, it’s highly unlikely that amount of people would lie about something so severe, something that should absolutely raise red flags.

We are constantly evolving multi-fascinated beings...